A Testament to Love: Cambodian LGBT+ Elders' Stories of Survival and Triumph

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By:
- Teng Yalirozy
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November 25, 2024, 5:00 PM
PHNOM PENH– In a world where acceptance feels like a far-off dream, the stories of LGBT+ individuals who have lived through decades of battles serve as rays of hope and resilience for advocacy and the right to equal marriage, a persisting dream for the whole LGBT+ community in Cambodia.
Societal rejection, personal struggles and the weight of their own identities are portrayed in a newly-launched ‘RoCK Senior Members’ book produced by the Rainbow Community Kampuchea (RoCK)–an NGO supporting LGBT+ rights in Cambodia for more than 10 years.
Launched on November 22nd, this poignant bilingual book unveils the heartfelt journeys of 12 LGBT+ individuals. Their stories, written in both Khmer and English, are a testament to the power of love, the courage of self-acceptance, and the resilience of the human spirit.
Ly Pisey, co-founder and Coordinator of RoCK, explains, “We wanted to preserve the wisdom and experiences of our aging LGBT+ members, whose stories risk being lost to time. Their lives, spanning from the Khmer Rouge era to the present, are a testament to resilience and love.”
"It’s a painful realization that we often regret what we don’t do,” she continues. “Gathering and sharing their narratives is a challenge, but it’s a crucial step in honoring their legacy and inspiring future generations."
Pisey emphasizes that love knows no age or gender. “These elderly individuals have maintained long-lasting, loving relationships, proving that love is not a curse or a disease. Despite facing hatred, they choose to spread love and compassion.”
From the rural landscapes of Takeo province, Sot Yun, a transgender man, has defied expectations since his youth. Born in 1955, he recalls a childhood inclination towards masculine identity, often preferring pants to skirts and boyish behavior. Even during the harrowing Khmer Rouge era, his defiance shone through.

"The Khmer Rouge saw me as a fraud," he recounted. "They stripped me of my pants and forced me into skirts. They even tried to force me into a marriage with a man, but I resisted, insisting that skirts hindered my ability to perform the arduous labor expected of a man."
His courage extended beyond physical appearance. When his father pressured him into marriage, Sot Yun refused. "I argued that if I married, who would climb the palm trees and produce the sugar that supported our family?" he explained. His unwavering determination to live authentically, even in the face of such extreme adversity, is a testament to his resilience.
Yun joined RoCK in 2009 as a volunteer. With his old bicycle, he traveled from one village to one village in search of LGBT+ people so that he could gather a community where support could be given to each other.
“I’m nearly 70, but I still want equal marriage rights not for me but for the young generation,” he said. “I want them to live with happiness.”
Horn Chhoeun, a lesbian from Kampong Thom province, has been with her husband, whom she met in the 80s, for almost 40 years. Growing up, Chhoeun did not care about getting a partner but worked hard to support her family until she fell in love with her husband when she was 27 years old.
“My parents disagreed, but I can’t ignore him,” she recalled. “We decided to build a life together and determined to have a decent life as an example for others. I want parents who have LGBT+ children to not ignore and blame their children.”

Sorn Noeun is a 55-year-old transgender man in Prey Veng province. He recalled that in the '90s, he was the only LGBT+ person in his village as he did not know if there were any people like him, and he was devalued and discriminated against.
“I grabbed a small branch and sat down on the ground, wondering to myself who I am and why I love a woman when I am a woman myself,” he said. “Am I the only one in the world? When I was 13, I fell in love with a woman.”
Noeun discovered the vibrant world of Cambodia's LGBT+ community in 2004. It was a revelation, a moment of connection amidst his isolation.
"Joining RoCK felt like a rebirth," he shared. "I became more involved in activism, even daring to meet with authorities to share our work, despite the fear of discrimination."
His newfound sense of belonging was further strengthened by a historical discovery.
"Learning about the existence of LGBT+ couples during the Sangkum Reastr Niyum period filled me with joy and reassurance. It confirmed that we have a long history and a strong foundation of support."

The LGBT+ community in Cambodia has a deep history dating back to the 13th century as written in the descriptions that were likely to be destroyed during the Khmer Rouge era. While same-sex affection among men and transgender women in rural Cambodia has been documented as far back as the 1950s, systematic research into sexual behaviors and identities began in the 1990s.
Khieu Kanharith, a parliament member and former Information Minister, recalls a disturbing incident from the past: a young boy punished for wearing a skirt to school and forced to kneel under the scorching noon-day sun. The teacher's actions sparked public outrage, highlighting the intolerance that once prevailed.
"We unequivocally condemn such discriminatory practices," he declared. "Regardless of gender or sexual orientation, no one deserves to be punished for their identity. We urge everyone to embrace their true selves and strive for a better future."
While acknowledging the absence of specific legal protections for same-sex couples, Kanharith emphasizes Cambodia's inherent tolerance and respect. He cautions against rushing into legal reforms, citing the complexities involved, particularly regarding issues like pregnancy rights.
"We must approach these issues with careful consideration," he stated. "I commend the authors of the 'RoCK Senior Members' book for their efforts to preserve the history and struggles of the LGBT+ community. Their work is a valuable contribution to our shared future."

British Ambassador Dominic Williams said Cambodians are culturally tolerant and accepting of people from different backgrounds, making the situation for those who love the same gender relatively good across the world.
In the UK, he said civil union laws allowed for partial marriage, but not full marriage. Ten years later, a full same-sex marriage law was introduced, allowing same-gender couples to marry each other.
“So now in the UK, people who love the same gender are able to marry them just the same as heterosexual individuals, so they have the same full rights on marriage, which was a huge step forward,” said the ambassador. “But that doesn't mean there aren't still difficult social attitudes, and there aren't still things that we could improve in the UK.
All individuals, including LGBT+ individuals, are entitled to equal rights under domestic and international law. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights affirms that all humans are born free and equal in dignity and rights. These principles are also reflected in the United Nations Charter and human rights treaties.
While same-sex relationships are legal in Cambodia, LGBT+ individuals still face significant challenges, including a lack of legal protection against discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, and sex characteristics (SOGIESC), as well as societal pressures to conform to heterosexual norms.
Thailand made history by becoming the first Southeast Asian country to legalize same-sex marriage in 2024, and Cambodia's LGBT+ community continues to advocate for similar rights.
